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yes, again [September 28, 2009 / 1:23am] going back to thediningdead i've added most of you, or tried to. just add me on there and ill get you back. 2 read write

my ambition is handicapped by laziness [September 23, 2009 / 4:06pm] my brain is mushy squishy not willing to think. booooooooooallakg. 1 read write

let's call it home for now. [August 18, 2009 / 12:03am] [ mood | good ] i have slept one hour in the last 36 hours. so here's me clearing the bullshit in the air before i start ranting. i could promise to update and keep up on everybody's journal, but that's just not going to happen. i'm mentally/physically/whateverly exhausted and feel like running my mouth, so i'm posting in a vacant journal that i'm sure nobody reads anymore....but i'm sure all of those negative feelings are just from the lack of sleep. really. i am a manager at my job now. i work with a guy 12 years older than me who calls me "boss". my coworkers are douchebags, and my boss is an even bigger twat. but hey i bring home a paycheck every other week, pay my bills and still spend random amounts of money on toys and new ways to occupy myself. me and todd have had a few hour or so long break-up sessions. i guess that's just the way we work. oh that boy drives me crazy, but i'll love him until my last breath. i don't really talk to as many people as i did when i was miserable all the time(heh), except for todd, those douchebags from work who have managed to become my friends, a good friend i should have never let go, my wife of course, and a few stragglers here and there who sometimes find the time in their day for me. but hey, i'm being serious...life is treating me pretty well when i don't take it too seriously. what's the point in that, right? i struggle with "self-issues" if you will....i know some day i'll be happy with myself physically (you know, get over the whole me thinking i'm a fat girl with bad skin)...but for now, i've realized just how big my heart is and that's enough to make me at the very least, content. maybe even a little more than content. cheers buds. i'm always around in some shape or form. :) 3 read write

loser. [June 26, 2009 / 8:15pm] I went to a casino last night with Todd and my assistant manager from work (lawl, she is a crazy gambler). Lost 100 bucks. Will never go do that bullshit again. FUCKING SHIT FUCK. That is all. 5 read write

things things and more things [June 25, 2009 / 3:05am] happy summer everyone. rain rain rain. i've worked for the past 6 days straight, which is awesome for my pay check but not so awesome for my brain. got in a brawl with my boss today. that was not fun. i have off tomorrow. we might go up to bear mountain, on the boats and to the zoo! the thought of new thrice makes me tingle in the pant area. OH. saw the midnight showing of transformers last night. it was sick. today i have been with my boy for one year. nothing to say about that. i love him. fin! 1 read write

i want a record player [June 13, 2009 / 12:57am] after 12 hours of moving/lifting/cleaning everything out of that apartment. we got home around 3am. as much as it sucked, and as angry as i was that nobody would help and it was just the two of us- it was worth it when the landlord called and thanked us for making the place look so wonderful. I worked tonight and got home about an hour ago. the big boss district manager lady was there. she walks with a pole up her ass. my boss told me that he has a great ass today, too. i told him i've seen better but he kept insisting, "you haven't seen me with my pants off." a strange man told me he liked my highlights and asked me the last time i've had them done. not sure if that was a compliment or not...... tomorrow i have off the first saturday i've had in a looong time. i think we'll go to the carnival. 1 read write

I wonder [June 10, 2009 / 2:49am] she speaks. 1 read write

hah, so it's true. [January 22, 2009 / 6:12pm] what goes around really does come around. how bout them apples. 5 read write

ugh.ugh [January 20, 2009 / 1:19am] fuuuuuuck my crap ass job. I just got screwed over, hardcore. I'm done dealing with this bullshit. 1 read write

tra la la. [January 06, 2009 / 3:28pm] [ mood | snot filled ] I'm afraid of finding out that the most I may be capable of, still won't be good enough. I've never pushed myself to my highest point. I wish I could get my priorities straight, and start putting the people that really mattered ahead of the people I feel I need to please. I had sex in the shower. I secretly and thoroughly enjoy the insane amount of trash talking that travels through my place of work. I don't know how to leave the one place that's always caused me my biggest burdens. I started drinking soda again and I can't figure out why I ever stopped. I have an overdue library book and I wish the library would stop calling me but I am too lazy to go bring back their book. Fuck off, library. Fuckin' a. 1 read write

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